When people talk about grammar, usage, and punctuation, it’s in terms of correctness. It’s usually followed by a lament of the loss of Good English, of how our beautiful language is going to waste at the hands of this lazy generation. I used to wholeheartedly join the lament, and I sometimes still do, but there’s another side to that. It’s undeniable that people don’t use language the way they used to — but that’s always been the case. English came from the Germanic language family, but Modern English is now more different from Old English than from French, which is from a different language family. And it’s just as well, because Old English would no longer fit our world. With the internet came a plethora of new words and new style rules, and in the past decade especially, people have been making an effort to use more inclusive language that represents the world as we now see it and as we want it to be. So yes, English is not like it used to be. But I don’t think it’s rotting in the hands of a lazy and incompetent generation. I think it’s evolving and transforming in the hands of a generation that’s discovering itself, expressing itself, and seeing the world in new ways. It’s not being abandoned; it’s being reshaped with care. I know from firsthand experience that we teenagers sometimes put a lot of thought into how we phrase and punctuate something, which rules to break and which to follow. I think the mindlessness of the rules given us is being transformed, especially through creative writing and the internet, into a more effective mode of self-expression as carefully thought out as the old rules were, but relevant to our time. It can help us to express ourselves better, and self-expression is the heart of language. So while I would miss the beauty of traditional punctuation were I to time-travel forward a few hundred years, and while I contend that a hyphen should never, ever be a dash, I am optimistic that our language will not be lost and destroyed as I once feared. Communication is too vital to lose, and I think that out of a sense of survival if nothing else, we will preserve and develop usages that convey what we need to, and that most fully express our truth.

All this to say, this punctuation guide includes both formal and informal style. (That was a really wordy way to say it, I know. ????) Within those broad categories, there are tons of different style rules, and each person has their own unique style, an idiolect, like a verbal signature. No one way is right. However, in the interest of not angering your teacher if you’re still in school, and for a variety of reasons, here is how I’ve divided and color-coded usage (of course, there are many more degrees of formality). I’m planning to color-code the examples.

Dark blue, standard: Acceptable in all formal contexts but may sound stuffy or weird if not relaxed in informal communication; when required to be “grammatically correct,” stick to these usages

Medium blue, nonstandard but common: Avoided in very formal contexts and anywhere you need to prove that you understand grammar, but acceptable in most contexts, especially informal writing, much other online communication (e.g. emails), articles that take a casual tone, and creative writing

Light blue, informal: Not used in formal contexts, but acceptable in notes, text messages, social media, friendly letters and emails, some creative writing, and some other personal writing (such as blog posts) that has a casual tone

Note that while I’ve put all standard usages in dark blue, these vary depending on style. If you’re writing for a specific organization (or, unfortunately, school), be sure to look up their specific style rules. Also, be sure to stick with a specific style rule, because switching randomly is also not considered standard. As an exception, the original style is always used in proper nouns, book/movie/etc. titles, and quotations. Also note that while what we call correctness changes over time, and I’ve tried to include informal usages, informal communication is much more artistic than grammatical. Standard-English guidelines are a starting point, but really, it varies from person to person, and you should do what feels right to you.